The semester has drawn to a close (Summer vacation! Whoo-hoo!) and I am so pleased I made it to the other side with my sanity intact. These past few months have been extremely challenging for me in my quest to finish up my pre-requisites for the nursing program. I took on two science courses at once – two lectures, two labs, four grades.
I went into the semester expecting to do what I’ve been doing for the past four semesters – excel! I had a 4.0 GPA to maintain, surely I can handle this right?
Right and wrong. I was/am equipped to handle it, but I was wrong to think that doing so wouldn’t require sacrifice. So, after my first three test scores came up less than stellar, I understood it was time to sacrifice. So, I had to put my creative brain on hold in order to let the logic and science nerd in me come out. I also needed to get off the internet (social networking can be a timesuck), so Twitter & Facebook faded to black.
While I was on hiatus, I learned not to be so hard on myself. I’m a perfectionist at heart and I was so happy to have done so well on my second round in college (my grades were good during undergrad, but I hadn’t pulled a single 4.0 during my four years there and I was going full-time and had no responsibilities outside of gas and a cell phone bill) So, to see my grades tank (at least in my head, a battleship had blown up in the distance and was sinking quick) drove me nuts. I had several people tell me it was okay, that I was doing okay. But my perspective was one of failure. Didn’t they know this nursing program is competitive? That if my grades slip now, that would further delay my admission? Did I mention that because I’m on financial aid attending a two-year college with a four-year degree already, I was running out of classes to take in order to receive the aid because I had so many credits already?
Then, two people said some really profound things to me in my state of driving myself up the wall.
My husband – “Don’t you know you have favor?”
My friend via text message – “Sometimes God’s plans for us are much better and different than we could ever imagine.”
They’re both right. I had laid out my plans in regards to school. When it seemed like it was going to fall apart, I started trying to shift things around to make what I wanted to have happen happen on my time. A lot of us have a tendency to do just that – change course when things don’t seem to go our way instead of sticking it out and walking the path that has been predestined for us. (Yeah, this is one of the lessons that doesn’t quite stick to me so well, so I’m confronted with it on a regular basis) So, I had to swallow a horse-sized chill pill and “go on somewhere and ‘set’ down with all that craziness”. If gaining admission into my school’s nursing program for next spring is for me, then I will get in. If I have to wait until fall, then I have to trust that there’s a reason for that and it will all work out.
Calm down, girlie. Trust in the timing. Stay the course. And lastly, stop tripping.
- …fade to black (awildflowerinbloom.wordpress.com)